fie. I survived ;')

Back from dze tense geek+nerd-ing! 8D
i managed to ground myself from my usual addictive internet activities ;)
And i'm so PAH-RAOUDH of meself x')

~*~*~*~

Bye Bye - Mariah Carey

Yesterday~
"Malam Juma'at"
My family & I
It is a routine for us to recite the Surah Yasin together after the Isya' prayers.

But last nyt~
Before the recitation
My dad announced something we feared the most
He had just received the text

20 days ago
& we just received the terrible news last night

A dear friend of ours had left us x'(
Her life taken
Passed away
Aunty L was her name.

They continued on with the recitation
Led by my father

Tears started to fall
My mother's
My sister's
Even tears of whom i thought was the strongest among us all
My brother's

I could hear from the tone of my father's voice that he was fighting to hold them back

I couldn't join the recitation due to a certain reason,
I felt helpless

The only thing i could do was to listen

Listen to the sadness in each voice
Reminiscing the past
The time we had with her around

The doa was led by my brother,
it was already hard for him to recite the surah before,
leading the doa was even harder.

Through out the whole thing
I don't know if its good for oneself to hold it all in
but i had to
no tears
for the sake of my family


As it ended,
the first one to break down was
my sister
the youngest among us
the one closest to her
Both my parents comforted her

I left the room first,
& felt something falling down my cheek
a tear
i thought, "i guess i'm not that strong" ;'P

Saddest scene i have ever encountered
as we all had the same strong bond with that person

An AWESOME person she was x')
I know she wouldn't want me to be all sad about it
Anyways, for you all to relate let me talk about her then ;)

Aunty L :D

She worked for us as a maid for nearly a decade

The thing is we don't really see her like dat

She was like a big sister to us
& a little sister or maybe even a daughter to my parents

I still remembered the night she came
for the first time
At a raw age of 19
Friendly & nervous

We (my adiks & I) at our young age spoke mostly in english & do not understand much of malay :P She was indonesian & was worried that she would not be able to communicate with us well. She didn't realy know the basic of cooking xP

But as years passed
She has learned quite a lot
from cooking & baking
to
learning english xP

Would you believe that her indonesian slang hilang!? xO AHHA xP
True ;)

But as a women at her age
She can't work as a maid in a foreign country for her whole life
So she had to go back to her home town for good
Leaving us :(

Living her life at indonesia
we try to keep in touch by text message & online
The last time i heard her voice was during my birthday 2007
She greeted me by calling me on my handphone
She was willing to call me.
Do you know how much it cost to call someone overseas??
Thankiu Aunty x')

She did well by working in a children's bookshop, reading to kids

Until last year when we heard the news that she had fell sick
Some diseases that my parents aren't able to explain

We tried to support her financially
Owh i wished that we could have visited her x(

Before she left to indonesia
She always told us how beautiful it was back at her home town
the park, the palace..
& insists we visit her someday

Her wish unfulfilled x(
I hope to fulfill it for her, & to visit her grave
To recite the surah yassin by her grave x')

She has been an inspiration to me
As a big sister would do
She helped me in almost everything
Backed me up when my parents were upset with me
gave me advice of what to do & what not to do
by sharing her experiences as a teenager
She was my shopping partner xD

She was there when i needed her
She was there to comfort me when i was upset
She was there to listen to my rants & vents about my parents, school, friends & almost about everything else

She was there when i first learned how to ride a bike
She was there when i first fell off my bike
She was there when i cooked my first scrambled egg
She was there to when i had my first egg facial
She was there when i needed advice on my first ever relationship

and more...

To us
she was more than a person who cleans up after her employees

She was FAMILY x')

From the day you left us to live your life at Indonesia
'til today
You'll always be in our hearts
&
We miss you

I'm thankful to have known you



Til we meet again in the next life

~*~*~*~

Love,

♥ Fatin ♪

♪♪♪

This is for my peoples
Who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby
Your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say bye
No, no, no

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers
Friends and cousins
This is for my peoples
Who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it
But you kept me in line
I didn't know why
You didn't show up sometimes
On Sunday mornings and I missed you
But I'm glad we talked through

All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show
Because you loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today
Face to face

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye

You never got a chance to see
How good I've done
And you never got to
See me back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could
Spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to
Tuck me in at night
With the teddy bear you gave me
That I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
You'd make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact
You're gone forever

I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on I wish
I could talk to you for a while
Miss you but I try not to cry
As time goes by

And it's true that you've
Reached a better place
Still I'd give the world to see your face
And be right here next to you
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do is say

Bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye, bye bye, bye bye
Bye bye
♪♪♪