fie. It turns out freedom means nothing but missing you.

It's been a while since my last post, this time it's going to be very different..

I've been fooling myself these past few months.. things have changed..

You've tried the best you could, but because of the matter of the situation.. we were left with no choice.. we had to..

You did it for me, you did it for us..

Family comes first, second career/education, then whatever else. This is very important to me, knowing that you made his choice like the priorities I have I pretty much understand.. What more knowing your situation, you have a hard time then anyone I know..

For your sake, I agreed to the decision. It's heartbreaking we had to go our seperate ways.. I'll never forget you.. nor the times we had and the things I've learned being with you.. I won't say goodbye to you, but a farewell. And a hello to our new chapter life..

You'll always be a huge part of me

It's been a month since then, the first few weeks was hard, it hurt with every breath I took, going to bed latest at 3am. As dramatic as it sounds, it's true. I never thought this like this could happen to me other than the people in movies. I kept myself busy with the uni life, clubs/activities, you name it, I needed the distraction. Thanks to my friends and family, I was able to bear the pain. I didn't tell anyone except for a handful of people I'm close to, 'cause it was too painful to express, but now I'm typing it out here. For one month I've been acting around our friends and the poeple we know like we're still together, this was 'cause I couldn't handle it, but now I'm ready. I applogize to my friends who I didn't tell, most of you know him, so it was very hard for me, I hope you guys understand.

For the record, he's a great guy. He may say he's jerk for the way he'd treated me, he never was.. He was wonderful, it just that.. well.. timing?

If your wondering, I'm handling things pretty well here now, it'll be hard to get use to, I hope you're well there too..

I've prayed so hard that I hope made the right decision, now I lay my trust on Allah. I pray for you happiness along side your loved ones.. Be well, and may Allah bless you.. *aminn*

If we were to meet in the future, I hope to see that smile on your face, I admit I do miss you, but life has to move on, baby steps.. we come back to being friends, I don't know if we'll become as close as we did when we were bestfriends before, don't worry I'm not hoping, less expectation aye? but who knows? Only Allah.. Take good care of your family, yes? Best of luck in everything you do.. I wish you the best x)

I love you, AM ♥

Thank you for everything..

♪ If anyone asks,

I'll tell them we both just moved one

When people all stare

I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk

Whenever I see you,

I'll swallow my pride

and bite my tongue

Pretend I'm okay with it all

Act like there's nothing wrong ♪

-FA-